is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
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