How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
i used baking grease as lip gloss
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Randomize
