To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Randomize
