You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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