why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
