what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
