he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Randomize
