I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
i need some magic done to my vagina
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
