ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
I think my vagina is haunted
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
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