Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Randomize
