I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Blood and glitter go together right?
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
