did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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