We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Randomize
