i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
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