The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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