Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
