I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
