what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
