She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Is this like a preordered booty call?
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Randomize