I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
