The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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