It's like a parade of train wrecks.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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