I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
