What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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