There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
