I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Randomize