i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Randomize
