He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize