I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize