Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
