he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
