I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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