i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Pants are for mortals
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Randomize