Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
