you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
