What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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