My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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