I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
