Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
only you would photoshop your dick
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Randomize
