I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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