While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize
