Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
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