you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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