East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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