Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Randomize
