Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Randomize
