ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
