You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
