I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
