so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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