THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
