So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Randomize
