so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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