Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Randomize
