did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
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