he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
