So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
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