I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize