nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Randomize
