i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
