New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
